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Funniest Jokes

Cannibals Joke Two cannibals are enjoying dinner. One compliments the other, "I say, Bill, your wife really makes a great meal." Youth Joke Around 50% of our youth sees the future in a positive way. The other half doesn’t have the money to buy the drugs. Surgeon Joke How did the dentist suddenly become a brain surgeon? A slip of the hand. Parachute Joke A guy asked at a skydiving school, "If the chute doesn't open and the reserve doesn't open either, how long until we hit the ground?" The instructor looked at him and said, "The rest of your life." Mum Joke But mum, I don't want to go to America. Hush child and keep swimming. Witty Joke Q: Why did the one-armed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop. Arab Joke Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk. One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures. - "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son...
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Funny Jokes For Kids

Veterans Joke When I took my school-age daughters to a lunch with veterans, I told them to ask questions. One of the men said he’d fought in the Korean War, and the girls were so impressed that the eldest wanted to know more: "Did you fight for the North or the South?" Class Joke My five-year-old nephew has always happily answered to BJ. That ended when he came home from his first day of school in a foul mood. It seems his teacher took roll, and he never heard his name. "Why didn’t anyone tell me my name was William!?" he complained. Daughter Joke Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions … lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it. "Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked. "No," replied Terra. "Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!" Terra was intrigued: "What was in the hole?" Mother Joke I...
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Irish Jokes

Husband Wife Joke  A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Fr O’Grady after mass. He says: “So what’s bothering you?” She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?” "Certainly father," she replied. “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.” Accident Joke One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. "Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory" Paddy shook his head. "Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned" Mrs McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?" Paddy shakes his head. "Not really - he got out 3 times to pee!" Doctor Joke Dr O'Mahony tells his patient: "I have bad news and worse news, John....
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