Something Funny
Shop Joke
In a bakery: Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.” Shop assistant: “Cupcake?” Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.”
Age Joke
● At 40 years, "highly educated" and "less educated" are the same. (Less educated people may even earn more money) ● At 50 years, "beauty" and "ugly" are the same. (No matter how pretty you are, at this age, wrinkles, dark spots, etc. can no more be hidden.) ● At 60 years, "high position" and "low position" are the same. (After retirement, even a peon will avoid looking at his boss) ● At 70 years, "big house" and "small house" are the same. (Joints degeneration, hard to move, only require a little space to sit .) ● At 80 years, "have money" and "no money" are the same. (Even when you want to spend money, you don't know where to spend) ● At 90 years, "Sleeping" and "waking up" are the same. (After you wake up, you still don't know what to do) Take it easy folks!
Chinese Joke
You have to appreciate how badass the Chinese are, making their language totally out of tattoo symbols.
Mice Joke
Two mice meet and start chatting. “Look,” says one after a while, “I’ve got a new boyfriend!” and shows a picture on the mobile phone. “OMG,” cries the other mouse, “that’s a bat!” “What?! The guy told me he was a pilot!”
Blind Man Joke
Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them? You shout, “I’m betting on the dude with the knife!”
Camera Joke
Some nice Chinese couple gave me a very good camera down by the Washington Monument. I didn’t really understand what they were saying, but it was very nice of them.
Mom Joke
Mom, do you know that most of my friends got the new iPhone already? - Son, do you know the foster home down by the crossroads?
Character Joke
Did anyone notice that the “&”symbol looks like a dog dragging his butt across the floor?
Dirty Joke
One friend to another: I really can’t believe that after all that enormous shit they are together again. - What? Who are you talking about? - My butt cheeks, hahahahah :-D
Medical Joke
A guy goes to the doctor: “Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control.” Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.” Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!”
Cannibal Joke
A cannibal is invited to a teambuilding week in the mountains. - The instructions say he can also bring one friend. - But when he arrives, he brings ten people. The organizer is shocked: “Come on Alan, what the heck, the invitation said you can only bring one person!” - "Yeah, but it also said bring your own food, didn’t it?!”
Driver Joke
Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.” Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?“
This post offers something funny for everyone irrespective of age or gender.
In a bakery: Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.” Shop assistant: “Cupcake?” Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.”
Age Joke
● At 40 years, "highly educated" and "less educated" are the same. (Less educated people may even earn more money) ● At 50 years, "beauty" and "ugly" are the same. (No matter how pretty you are, at this age, wrinkles, dark spots, etc. can no more be hidden.) ● At 60 years, "high position" and "low position" are the same. (After retirement, even a peon will avoid looking at his boss) ● At 70 years, "big house" and "small house" are the same. (Joints degeneration, hard to move, only require a little space to sit .) ● At 80 years, "have money" and "no money" are the same. (Even when you want to spend money, you don't know where to spend) ● At 90 years, "Sleeping" and "waking up" are the same. (After you wake up, you still don't know what to do) Take it easy folks!
Chinese Joke
You have to appreciate how badass the Chinese are, making their language totally out of tattoo symbols.
Mice Joke
Two mice meet and start chatting. “Look,” says one after a while, “I’ve got a new boyfriend!” and shows a picture on the mobile phone. “OMG,” cries the other mouse, “that’s a bat!” “What?! The guy told me he was a pilot!”
Blind Man Joke
Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them? You shout, “I’m betting on the dude with the knife!”
Camera Joke
Some nice Chinese couple gave me a very good camera down by the Washington Monument. I didn’t really understand what they were saying, but it was very nice of them.
Mom Joke
Mom, do you know that most of my friends got the new iPhone already? - Son, do you know the foster home down by the crossroads?
Character Joke
Did anyone notice that the “&”symbol looks like a dog dragging his butt across the floor?
Dirty Joke
One friend to another: I really can’t believe that after all that enormous shit they are together again. - What? Who are you talking about? - My butt cheeks, hahahahah :-D
Medical Joke
A guy goes to the doctor: “Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control.” Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.” Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!”
Cannibal Joke
A cannibal is invited to a teambuilding week in the mountains. - The instructions say he can also bring one friend. - But when he arrives, he brings ten people. The organizer is shocked: “Come on Alan, what the heck, the invitation said you can only bring one person!” - "Yeah, but it also said bring your own food, didn’t it?!”
Driver Joke
Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.” Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?“
This post offers something funny for everyone irrespective of age or gender.