Sardar Jokes
Sardar Traits
How Can You Be Sure Someone Is A Sardar?
Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
Tries to drown a fish in water.
Trips over a cordless phone.
Thinks socialism means partying.
Studies for a blood test and fails.
Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
Puts lipstick on his forehead because he wants to make up his mind.
Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
At the bottom of the application form where it says: "Sign Here", he puts 'Scorpio'.
Sells the car for gas money.
Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.
Gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.
Accident Joke
Two Sardarjis are looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar 1: Look, so many bandages! Must be a pukka (real) lorry accident case.
Sardar 2: Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!
Bomb Joke
Two Sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing?
Sardar 2: Don't worry, I have one more.
Car Joke
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but it starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea.
All cars that I know start with petrol.
Statue Joke
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue you've broken!!
Sardar: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
Injury Joke
At the scene of an accident a man was crying:
O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry.
See that man. He has lost his head... Is he crying?
Tourist Guide Joke
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: And the smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
Servant Joke
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining!
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go!
Sadhu Joke
Sadhu : I haven't slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sadhu: I had an upper berth.
Friend: Why didn't you exchange it?
Sadhu: There was nobody in the lower bunk to change it with.
Job Joke
Santa was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to put in the column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes, please.
Bank Joke
Devindar went into The Bank of India and asked to open a current account. The cashier was surprised when Devindar left the building saying he would return after he had been to Delhi. When asked why he was visiting Delhi, he retorted that the application form said: 'Got to be filled in CAPITAL.'
Girl Joke
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope which was hanging from a from an aeroplane. Ten were Sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, 'I'll get off......' and she made a really moving speech. All of the Sardars started immediately applauding.
Indian Joke
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of the launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket made all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem. Finally, Manjit, a Sardar offered to help. The NASA scientists were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything. 'Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right,' said Manjit in a serious voice. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. 'Bring it back to vertical position, the Manjit added. The engineers did. 'Now start the engines,' instructed Manjit. The rocket took off and flew into space. Everybody thanked and congratulated Manjit and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied, 'It is very simple. This is what we always do with our Bajaj scooters in India.'
Medical Joke
Santa: I am a most proud Sardar, My son is in medical college.
Banta: Really, what is he studying?
Santa: No is not studying, they are studying him.
Art Joke
Jasbir visits an art gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror.
Phone Joke
Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone in his Phone Book and told them: "My mobile number has changed, earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is 6710"
Postman Joke
Postman: I have had to walk 5 miles to deliver this packet.
Sardar: Why did you walk so far? You could have posted it.
Shopping Joke
Gatnam went to the sale at electrical shop and he found a bargain. 'I would like to buy this small TV,' he told the salesman. 'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' he replied. So Gatnam hurried home, removed his turban, and changed his hair style and returned to repeat to the salesman, 'I would like to buy this TV.' 'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' the salesman replied for a second time. 'Damn! Gatnam exploded, 'he recognized me.' He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, different clothes, big sunglasses and he waited a few days until he saw the salesman again. 'I would like to buy this TV.' 'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' the salesman replied. Angry now and frustrated, Gatnam shouted, 'How do you know I'm a Sardar?' 'Because that's a microwave,' he replied.
Exam Joke
Sardar Premdeep Singh is sitting his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pants, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. 'Oye, I am only following the instructions,' Premdeep replies, 'it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief."'
This is a post on sardar jokes.
How Can You Be Sure Someone Is A Sardar?
Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
Tries to drown a fish in water.
Trips over a cordless phone.
Thinks socialism means partying.
Studies for a blood test and fails.
Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
Puts lipstick on his forehead because he wants to make up his mind.
Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
At the bottom of the application form where it says: "Sign Here", he puts 'Scorpio'.
Sells the car for gas money.
Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.
Gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.
Accident Joke
Two Sardarjis are looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar 1: Look, so many bandages! Must be a pukka (real) lorry accident case.
Sardar 2: Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!
Bomb Joke
Two Sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing?
Sardar 2: Don't worry, I have one more.
Car Joke
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but it starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea.
All cars that I know start with petrol.
Statue Joke
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue you've broken!!
Sardar: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
Injury Joke
At the scene of an accident a man was crying:
O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry.
See that man. He has lost his head... Is he crying?
Tourist Guide Joke
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: And the smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
Servant Joke
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining!
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go!
Sadhu Joke
Sadhu : I haven't slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sadhu: I had an upper berth.
Friend: Why didn't you exchange it?
Sadhu: There was nobody in the lower bunk to change it with.
Job Joke
Santa was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to put in the column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes, please.
Bank Joke
Devindar went into The Bank of India and asked to open a current account. The cashier was surprised when Devindar left the building saying he would return after he had been to Delhi. When asked why he was visiting Delhi, he retorted that the application form said: 'Got to be filled in CAPITAL.'
Girl Joke
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope which was hanging from a from an aeroplane. Ten were Sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, 'I'll get off......' and she made a really moving speech. All of the Sardars started immediately applauding.
Indian Joke
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of the launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket made all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem. Finally, Manjit, a Sardar offered to help. The NASA scientists were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything. 'Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right,' said Manjit in a serious voice. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. 'Bring it back to vertical position, the Manjit added. The engineers did. 'Now start the engines,' instructed Manjit. The rocket took off and flew into space. Everybody thanked and congratulated Manjit and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied, 'It is very simple. This is what we always do with our Bajaj scooters in India.'
Medical Joke
Santa: I am a most proud Sardar, My son is in medical college.
Banta: Really, what is he studying?
Santa: No is not studying, they are studying him.
Art Joke
Jasbir visits an art gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror.
Phone Joke
Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone in his Phone Book and told them: "My mobile number has changed, earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is 6710"
Postman Joke
Postman: I have had to walk 5 miles to deliver this packet.
Sardar: Why did you walk so far? You could have posted it.
Shopping Joke
Gatnam went to the sale at electrical shop and he found a bargain. 'I would like to buy this small TV,' he told the salesman. 'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' he replied. So Gatnam hurried home, removed his turban, and changed his hair style and returned to repeat to the salesman, 'I would like to buy this TV.' 'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' the salesman replied for a second time. 'Damn! Gatnam exploded, 'he recognized me.' He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, different clothes, big sunglasses and he waited a few days until he saw the salesman again. 'I would like to buy this TV.' 'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' the salesman replied. Angry now and frustrated, Gatnam shouted, 'How do you know I'm a Sardar?' 'Because that's a microwave,' he replied.
Exam Joke
Sardar Premdeep Singh is sitting his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pants, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. 'Oye, I am only following the instructions,' Premdeep replies, 'it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief."'
This is a post on sardar jokes.