Wife Joke “Why do you look so sad?” “I wanted to drown my worries but my wife didn’t want to go in the water.” Guy Joke I heard that it is easier to find a girlfriend when you have things in common. So girls, I like to breath. Uniform Joke I heard women love a man in uniform. Can’t wait to start working at McDonalds. Woman Joke You really are the most jealous woman I know. Oh, so you know lots of other women, do you?! Car Joke My car horn now sounds like gunshots. People move out of the way much faster recently. Fridge Joke If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge? Politician Joke It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets. Grandpa Joke “Mom, can I play with grandpa?” “No, you just leave him hanging until the police comes.” Dirty Joke What is agony? You are a one-armed man hanging off a cliff. Suddenly your butt starts to itch. Postman Joke Famous last words of a postman: What a lovely dog you have! Cleaning Jo...
Cannibals Joke Two cannibals are enjoying dinner. One compliments the other, "I say, Bill, your wife really makes a great meal." Youth Joke Around 50% of our youth sees the future in a positive way. The other half doesn’t have the money to buy the drugs. Surgeon Joke How did the dentist suddenly become a brain surgeon? A slip of the hand. Parachute Joke A guy asked at a skydiving school, "If the chute doesn't open and the reserve doesn't open either, how long until we hit the ground?" The instructor looked at him and said, "The rest of your life." Mum Joke But mum, I don't want to go to America. Hush child and keep swimming. Witty Joke Q: Why did the one-armed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop. Arab Joke Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk. One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures. - "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son...
Veterans Joke When I took my school-age daughters to a lunch with veterans, I told them to ask questions. One of the men said he’d fought in the Korean War, and the girls were so impressed that the eldest wanted to know more: "Did you fight for the North or the South?" Class Joke My five-year-old nephew has always happily answered to BJ. That ended when he came home from his first day of school in a foul mood. It seems his teacher took roll, and he never heard his name. "Why didn’t anyone tell me my name was William!?" he complained. Daughter Joke Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions … lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it. "Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked. "No," replied Terra. "Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!" Terra was intrigued: "What was in the hole?" Mother Joke I...